Category: Parent Talk
Hav any of the parents ever come across a two year old with little or no fear. Alasadir is seemingly not afraid of loud noises, strange people in crash helmets coming towards, him or violent thunderstorms. He is upset at first but soon calms down and what is normal fear in my 3 year old nephew,is fascination in my son, he's fine in every way except for an almost complete absence of fear.
I wonder if this is really abnormal. I think it is pretty typical of young children I've met not to be afraid of much. I think we adults teach them fear either with our words when we lecture them about something or just by setting an example when they observe us being afraid. I think fear is something that increases in us as we get older.
Now keep in mind I don't have children, but I have done a lot of baby sitting and have also heard other parents talk about their fearless kids.
Yeah, I think it's pretty common--you have to learn what to be afraid of. It's funny how fears can totally be bred into and out of people. I just noticed recently that I am not actually afraid of dogs even though I had always thought I was. It turns out that I never was, but my mom is deathly afraid of dogs, and so used to imply that they were something to be afraid of. Only once her influence had started to wear of did I realize that this was actually her fear, not my own.
Hmm that's true but you would think that seeing another toddler petrefied and crying due to a huge thunderstorm, would induce Alasdair to be frightened..he was at first, then he became more fascinated by the storm..I can only think that he has inherited my love of storms smile. However, try this he fell and cut his knee it was bleeding and filthy,when we were checking the cut for debris, he wasn't bothered by my clumsy first aid ..most toddlers are squirming and screaming the place down.
My cousins didn't seem to be frightened by anything much when they were toddlers. They were very fistey, thrillseeking and fun-loving children. I've never known them to cry when there was a thunder storm or they heard loud noises for example, church bells, fireworks, guns, noises made by various animals Etc, so I guess its, just a toddler's personality which determines how they react to different things every day.
Sounds like it's a personality thing.
Some people have fear and some do not.
Not to worry, he will learn to fear things like a hot stove, in time, but needn't learn it until it's time.
Bob
Hmm interesting I do remember watching this documentary about thrill seeking children.The medical experts suggested that the children's brains developed more dopamine, a hormone with the same effect as heroin, the children were constantly thrill seeking due to the sedating effect of the dopamine they felt very little fear, and needed to seek out dangerous sports ect to feel alive basically. It could be the answer or just medical science attempting to explain away something they don't feel happy with.
I also think it is how you react to the children. For instanceif you react calmy to things they tend to know to be that way as welll.
Hmm true but some children are frightened even if the parents ect couldn't care less..it's a confusing thing parenthood.
I was afraid of fireworks when I was a little kid so my parents told me. I don't remember being afraid of them, and I love them now. So I just think all kids are different, and unless your son starts doing things that seem really dangerous to you, I wouldn't worry about his lack of fear.
Um I was not implying being calm was acting like I could care less. I was just saying if you act freaked out or just emotional about it you will encourage the fear.
Thank you!
Is there any need for this christ! people are so unpleasant and touchy on here
Not everyone was being unreasonable or touchy. Me for example, but you wouldn't know that since you have my posts blocked. So now who's being unreasonable and touchy?
ok, first of all i wouldnt worry about him I know two kids just olike him and the cut cleaning thing what i am thinking is he you were there and would keep him safe and maybe he figures oh dady is here i am ok things are fine or maybe he is afraid and just doesnt show it too.
That might be so he does seem the type to say I'm ok everythings fine and not be troubled by the kind of things that would bother a 2yr old. A friend of ours who is a medical student has treated 2 yrolds with cuts ect, and he says they wont sit still or let you examine the injury, due to fear of the unknown. He said Alasdair should still have been tricky due to being faced with the sight of his own blood for the 1st time.
He sounds very special. You must have a very deep and unique bond with him. If the parent and child develop a close enough bond then the parent's calm treatment of a situation does not merely influence the child's behavior, but also deeply influences the child him or her self. A deep spiritual and emotional connection can make it easy to comfort, calm or communicate with your child with out having any dirrect physical contact and with out the use of words. Your son sounds very perceptive, I would guess that both earth and water are very strong parts of his personality. It is wonderful to have a child that is so fearless and that you are so close to. It is also unusual that a child that yung would so clearly demonstrate their elemental make up of personality. Most children appear to be almost solely fire, passionate, unreasonable, uncontrolable, impulsive and often stubborn or overly forceful until they are considerably older. , However, your child seems to be exhibiting very deep ties to both the earth and to water. He sounds like a very special little boy. Please give him a hug for me.
I myself had quite a few fears which my mum never seemed to take in to account when I was probably about Alasdair's age. I had light perception till I used to look intently at one of those colour-change music boxes, light-up toys, lamps or torches as it relaxed me, made me feel safe and everything, but mum never thought I was scared of the dark at night or of the music box on the window sill in my room, which played Brahms, Lullaby at a rate of knots and which always seemed to clang out the notes rather than pick them out gently like a lot of other musical toys do, so I think that was why I hated any loud noises. a baby girl's hearing is a lot more sensative than a baby boy's hearing, so I was frightened of some motorbikes, barking dogs, fireworks, guns, thunder Etc, so eventually, when I was 7, mum let me keep my cassette player and pocket radio in my room at night to let me sleep. The fear of loud noises could also stem from the fact that I had Glue ears as a child (a collection of fluid behind the eardrum which acts as an unwanted amplifier or microphone) so everything sounded twenty times louder than it actually was, especially the afore-mentioned fireworks or church bells. This wasn't just because of my hearing, but until recently, this fear of various musical or other loud noises was unexplainable. If you're particularly musical and it triggers other senses in the body, this rather strange combination of the senses is now known as Synaesthesia. For example, you could be listening to a piece of music and you can see different colours or taste and smell different things and these don't have to be just food, so from when I was about a year old, I would listen to a music box or nursery rhyme cassette and associate it with a taste, colour or smell, but, this also triggered my fear of discords such as F7 and D7, which I associated and still do associate with something horrible about to happen to me. I really can't explain why that should be so, but I am going to write to the UK Synaesthesia association and prove that it isn't just fully-sighted people who have it.
I've never heard of a girl's hearing being better than a boy's, as a baby or otherwise. I'm not arguing with you, but I am interested. If you could reccomend a study or book which covers this I'd very much like to investigate it further. Now, when you say f7 and d7 do you mean the f and d which occur on the piano in the octive just above c7? Or, do you mean intervals of a seventh built from, or seventh chords built from these two notes? Having been a music education major this is very interesting to me.
I mean the latter concerning my dislike of those particular chords. There is an experiment on the BBC's Parenting video on demand, but sadly it's only available to watch here in Britain. All the Child Of Our Time babies were around a year old at the time. The team basically played them some very loud Beethoven and Vivaldi's Four Seasons. The boys loved it but the girls grizzled because it was too loud for them. Real proof that a baby/little girl's hearing is a lot more sensitive than a boy's.
Jen.
That's very interesting. I'll check that out as I can probably find some way to get ahold of the study mentioned with a little effort through our psychology department at school. I'm also going to check into other similar studies as one trial alone is not conclusive as it could only apply to babies born in the UK, only to babies born in that year, only apply to classical music from those particular composers, etc, but as I said it does sound very fascinating.
Yeah, I think there are a couple of websites other than the BBC website where you can get hold of Parenting Video On Demand abroad. Haven't got time to look now, but I'll post the link, or at least, the address if I find one you can access in the States.
Jen.
Thanks.
You're welcome any time. For now though, try these links;:
Click here to start using BBC Parenting Video On Demand.
or:
BBCWorldwide
If those don't work, nothing will. Once you click on the above links though, in the case of Parenting Video On Demand, it is one, huge, flash movie webpage, so just follow the buttons, click on TV, then Child Of Our Time, then Series 1, then Tomboy Or Sissy. Do likewise with BBC Worldwide on YouTube or just key in the afore-mentioned Child Of Our Time info in the search box there.
Jen.
This is actually the very first time I've hopefully, managed to post links on these boards, so I appologise profusely if they didn't work.
Damn! Links didn't work out, so for the first link I posted, just go to: www.bbc.co.uk/child of our time, then click on the Video On Demand link, which will take you to that huge flash movie, also mentioned in the last post.
Jen.
This is really fascinating. I'm going to show it to my fiance when he gets home from school. Thanks again.
Ok, maybe not, well, maybe. It is giving me a message about restricted access, but he can pirate just about anything so I think we might have a shot at this. I have some ideas.